A Sweeter Song

Greek mythology tells of a certain group of evil, conniving mermaids-the Sirens. These mermaids, though spectacular in beauty, were devilish and diabolical. Their weapon was the intoxicating song that they sang. Sitting atop their rocks, the Sirens would sing their tempting tune as ships passed. It was a powerful enticement that no hot-blooded man could resist. With their lustful melody, the Sirens could control the wills of men. Their song could woo even the most steely hearted ship captains to turn their vessels toward the Siren's rocky coastline. Their music lured ship after ship into a watery grave.
Enter Ulysses-a ship captain of great renown whose noble mission forces him to pass those terrible Siren shores. But Ulysses is determined that he will not fall victim to their allurement as so many others have done. So as he approaches the deadly Siren coastline, he commands his crew to stuff beeswax in their ears so they won't be overcome by the haunting songs.
Ulysses himself is intrigued to hear the music that has sent so many mighty sailors to their death. But he knows he cannot withstand the temptation. So he commands his crew to tie him to the mast of the ship, and tie him tight. He reasons that he can safely listen to the Sirens' song while bound to the mast since the ropes will render him unable to steer his ship in the wrong direction.
As the intoxicating Siren melody fills the air, Ulysses is overcome with uncontrollable longing to steer his ship toward their dangerous shore. His knees buckle and his mind swoons under the sway of the Siren sounds. He screams for his crew to turn the boat toward the singing, but his crew is already under orders not to heed his voice while he is under the mermaids' spell.
Ulysses curses, writhing in agony, consumed with only one thought-"I must get closer to the music! I must quench this insatiable thirst for more of the Sirens' song!" He furiously seeks to untie the ropes that bind him. But his efforts are useless, and he shakes in misery until finally the mermaid music fades to nothingness and his ship sails beyond its terrifying reach.
When the danger is past, Ulysses is untied. He falls to the deck of the ship, exhausted and humiliated by the entire episode.
And yet, Ulysses is a hero. He did what few had ever done before him-he made it past the temptation. He escaped death upon the rocks.
His crew applauds their strong and noble captain for his amazing feat. He succeeded in escaping danger in spite of the fact that he was miserable the entire time.


Greek legend has it that there was another noble captain who braved the lurid waters of the Sirens. In fact, he wasn't far behind Ulysses. His name was Orpheus. And his approach to the Siren threat was very different than that of Ulysses. He didn't use beeswax, and he didn't use rope. He wasn't afraid of the Sirens. He looked upon the dangerous coastline as an opportunity.
As his ship approached the Siren enticement, his crew let out a shout of joy.
"The Sirens! The Sirens! Captain Orpheus, it is time!"
While Ulysses' crew had been filled with dread as they approached this legendary danger, Orpheus's crew was buoyant with excitement. Some, in fact, had joined Orpheus's crew just for this very occasion.
"Bring me the case!" boomed Orpheus, as the sailors cheered.
A beautifully adorned case was brought to Orpheus. He smiled as he opened it. The crew surrounded him, their eyes filled with eager anticipation. Orpheus slowly removed from the case a lovely musical instrument, studded with jewels and plated with precious metals.
"Play it, Captain!" roared the crew, as their eyes transfixed upon their hero. "Play us your song!"
As the Sirens' sweet melody began to fill the air, Orpheus began to play his own instrument. It was the most perfect music human ears had ever heard. Each crewman became lost in the grandeur and majesty of the song.
All too soon the Siren coastline was out of sight and the master musician concluded the song that he himself had composed. Not a single man aboard ship had been tempted by the Sirens' melody. In fact, no one even noticed it. Though the mermaids' music was alluring and sweet, Orpheus played for his crew ... a sweeter song.




Eric & Leslie Ludy
(Told to me by Larry McCall at Christ's Covenant Church)

You Knew What It Was

Sitting under RVL's teaching again this past weekend was a blessing, an honor, a beautiful refreshing breath of air. At the start of the Saturday session he shared a story often told by the rabbis. It has so caught my attention that I thought I'd share it here.

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Once there was a rabbi who decided to climb to the top of the mountain of God. It was a long walk to the base of the mountain and when he got there he sat down on a rock to catch his breath before starting the long climb.

A black scorpion - the deadly kind - came and sat next to him on the rock. "Where are you going?" the scorpion asked the rabbi.

"I am going to climb to the top of the mountain," the rabbi said.

"I am wanting to go to the top of the mountain too," the scorpion said. "Pick me up and let me ride on your shoulder."

"No," the rabbi said. "You will pull back your tail and sting me, and then I will die."

"Why would I do that?" asked the scorpion. "If I were to sting you and you were to die, how would I get to the top?"

The rabbi thought about that for a moment and decided that the scorpion made a logical argument. He picked him up, set him on his shoulder and started the climb.

By the time the rabbi had climbed about a third of the way up, the climb being arduous, he was tired and covered with sweat. As he stopped to rest, the scorpion on his shoulder reared back his tail and stung the rabbi in the neck.

The rabbi fell to the ground, and as his throat began to swell shut and he knew he would die, he looked at the scorpion. "Why did you do that...?" he choked.

"Don't blame me," said the scorpion. "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

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We each have those things that we allow to ride on our shoulders - habits, strongholds, "pet" sins. And we can each act surprised when we're "stung." But who is to blame? I know what it is when I pick it up and set it on my shoulder - no matter how logical an argument it makes.  And so do you.

I will be 25...someday.

I once was the girl who built her life around resolutions. New Years was a big time for me. Now, well...I've embraced the truth that His mercies "are new every morning." I don't have to wait for a new year, a new month or a new week to "start over fresh." I finish out the day, lay my head on my pillow, close my eyes and breathe out a sigh. When I open them again, it is a fresh new beginning.

I like this.

However, I am realizing that a pivitol point is approaching for me. In just under five months, I will be turning 25. I will be able to rent a car, have less to pay for my insurance and will have released the last vestige of childhood. I will be an adult.

Apparently, some are already under the delusion that I am an adult. I'm enjoying the charade.

These next few months are going to go by speedily. I have made up my mind to accomplish a small list of things before that day arrives. Not a bucket list...more like an espresso mug list. Though perfecting my espresso making is not on the list.

I had in mind to post the list - but I think I'm going to enjoy the deliciousness of a secret for a little while. I enjoy secrets. Little ones, not big ones. Big ones give me indigestion. But I digress.

I have 131 days left before I mark through a quarter of a century. This will take some planning.

Just thoughts.

My heart is yearning for a connection. It is restless. My family is here and the time together is wonderful. There is a connection made...but it is only in one part of my heart. Friends and I have exchanged gifts and cards and words and connections are made. But again those connections only reach certain places of my heart. There is a connection made...a tugging heart string... to a heart I know but a face I don't know yet. There is a bit of ache where this connection is - a hope deferred. But still it is only one place of my heart, and it is not the point that yearns.

This day, a celebration of You. And yet I feel You absent. No, not absent. Not acknowledged. By others, yes. My own heart? ....I have nodded in Your direction, offered a pithy phrase, but for the duration of the day nothing more. Yet my heart desires to pull aside and be alone...with You.

My heart is yearning for a connection. A connection with You. Meet with me? At this late hour? The day is not yet over.

Tomorrow.

I find that tomorrow is often my worst enemy. It is a black hole swallowing up good intentions and well meant plans.

"I'll do it tomorrow."
"I'll start tomorrow."
"It can wait until tomorrow."

I am leaving vital decisions and actions in the hands of a vague concept - a non-reality. Tomorrow doesn't actually exist and yet I lean so heavily upon it, while underestimating today and the potential it contains.

The Question Is...

After an evening of wonderful conversation and stirring musical performance I found myself facing a thrilling drive home through inches of slush and driving snow. (Not to mention insane North Carolina drivers.)

To pass the time I continued the conversation in the car. God and I have great times talking when I'm driving by myself. Although I'm sure it is quite humorous to be a driver in another car looking in at me having a wonderful discussion...by myself. Sigh. Ah well.
The dialogue on the drive home consisted mainly of questions... and not always with answers to follow up.

Who...? What...? Where...? Why...? When...? How...? (I always felt a little sorry for "how," what with all the other words starting with "w." I always thought I should invent a synonym to "how" that started with "w" but, alas, this is another of my grand ideas that has yet to see fruition. One day...)

You'd be surprised how deep simple questions starting with simple words can get.

Who am I?
What is my passions/goals/desires/path/call?
Where am I headed?
Why am I so blessed?
When will I know ______? (Filled in with a myriad of words.)
How will I know ______? (Filled in with the same words as above.)

The conversation was laughably punctuated with occasional fish tailing shrieks, accurate commentary on the driving skills of others and the sporadic "Oh Lord...!"

I don't think we realize how "reactionary" our thinking and speaking can become in living our day-to-day lives. It doesn't cause a probing of the depths of mind, soul, spirit to respond to most of what we come across in everyday life. We don't stop, pause, think. Oh and I miss it. I enjoy the opportunity to intelligently discuss, dialogue, debate and disagree. Good conversation causes a stirring of stagnant waters in our minds. It forces us to recognize things in ourselves that are more easily passed over in day-to-day reactionary speech.

And what I recognized on that long trek back to the warmth of home and the safety (and lolling, sleepy seduction) of all that is familiar is that I have more questions than answers...and questions I don't even know to ask yet.

I never saw it.

Growing up in church, teenage girls are told over and over (and over) again:

Song of Solomon 2:7
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Song of Solomon 3:5
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Song of Solomon 8:4
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

I guess it makes sense that it is repeated to us so often as it is repeated often in scripture. But what I never heard or saw, in all those years, is that the verse doesn't apply to just our hearts.

We are told to "guard our hearts" but what about the responsibility we have to guard the hearts of others? Only so much depends on us, I realize, but girls we are fooling ourselves if we say we have no responsibility whatsoever.

Do not awaken love in ourselves or arouse it in others... until it so desires.

Until what so desires? It? Love. God is love. (I John 4:8) Until God so desires?

Oh...

Simple Instructions.

A dear friend calmed a tumultuous heart this evening (mine) with simple words that resounded in their captivating but simple truth:

Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no.

What a concept! As a Christian-from-the-cradle I have heard, read, glittered and sang these words since preschool. (Those last two being in VBS most likely...) But in a moment of variance, it was a constant. As I doubted, questioned and proceeded to be quite double-minded the words were solid.

Yes be yes. No be no.

There were more words those led me to:

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. -Matthew 5:37

Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned. -James 5:12

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. -I Timothy 6:11,12

Psalm 119
1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.

2 Blessed are they who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart.

3 They do nothing wrong;
they walk in his ways.

4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.

5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!

6 Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.

7 I will praise you with an upright heart
as I learn your righteous laws.

8 I will obey your decrees;
do not utterly forsake me.

9 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.

10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

12 Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.

*sigh* I feel better now... more resolute. More assured. More aware that I need to delve deeply into this Word.

My True Love Hath My Heart

How can I write about you
When you are all the world?
When I know
That all that is good or just in me is only
An echo of you:
When all that I think is what you have breathed
on my heart:
and all I say
Although I am praised for it,
Is your book read aloud?

-Naomi Mitchison, 1926

Wow.

From Today.

1Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. 6This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. 7Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Romans 13:1-7

Lord, we continue to trust You. Lead us, guide us, protect us and our President.

Resume Writing

"Remember, your resume will only get a few seconds attention, at best! You have to generate interest right away, in the first sentence they lay their eyes on. Having an objective statement that really sizzles is highly effective. And it's simple to do. One format is:

OBJECTIVE: An xxx position in an organization where yyy and zzz would be needed (or, in an organization seeking yyy and zzz).

Xxx is the name of the position you are applying for. Yyy and zzz are the most compelling qualities, abilities or achievements that will really make you stand out above the crowd of applicants. Your previous research to find out what is most important to the employer will provide the information to fill in yyy and zzz."

http://www.rockportinstitute.com/resumes.html

Very helpful website for those of you needing to write or rewrite your resume! It can be a daunting task... and a haunting one...

Every spring I am reminded...

The most important thing my grandmother ever taught me... ever did with me... was planting daffodil bulbs.

One day a few years ago I was sitting in front of a computer screen when my grandmother puttered by with gloves, a trowel and a bag of dirty lumps. "Come on," she said, "its about time you learned to plant something."

I tried to reason with her and told her that I had become an expert at planting my self. I could plant myself in front of the tv, at the table, on the hammock...

She was not amused.

So I followed her outside and found myself kneeling in the dirt on a cold November day and digging little holes. After I would get each hole 3-4" deep my grandmother would hand me a clod of dirt-encased bulbs and we would plant them.

The activity itself was fun. It was a beautiful, albeit frigid day, and I enjoyed the time with my grandmother. But what I didn't know is the exponential enjoyment I would receive a few months later as I saw tiny green shoots emerge from the muddy ground. Life. The first signs of spring.

And it wasn't just that January, but every January since. These bulbs lay dormant for 3/4 of the year, amid scorching heat, drought, frost and flood. (We don't get snow here.) And then, and for some reason always unexpectedly, there they are. Pushing up through the dirt without anyone's help.

I'm ruminating on this...

Boots.

I love boots. They are stylish and often comfortable. But the number one reason I love boots is that they allow someone to appear completely color coordinated and put together when in actuality they are wearing pink princess socks that don't match anything.

Crossroads.

I need direction. A myriad of paths are before me... but I can not fathom setting out on any of them in my own wisdom. I want His best. I need His leading. I desire His guidance.

Oh Father... where am I to go? What am I to do?

"my soul felt its worth..."

Downtown on the steps of the Millennium Center I stood, numb hands grasping a small, wax candle. As the pastor spoke and his words rippled through the crowd of my brothers and sisters, as well as the curious onlookers, I contemplated this past year. As I allowed my heart and mind to grow quiet my reflections took me even further back, back to when my heart, like the candle, was formed of cold, hard wax. Unbending. Unbreaking.
And as I reflected I noticed a glow spreading through those gathered together against the biting wind. From one to another it grew, until finally someone turned to me, extending a flame to light the wick I held. My candle ignited and the warm glow quickly spread from my hands to my face to my heart.
And then, just as quickly, a gust of wind extinguished my unprotected flame. My revere was snuffed out as well. There I stood in the midst of a crowd of lit faces, holding a candle the same as theirs but feeling like a fraud. Mine was not lit.
Someone reached out and re-lit my candle. The light once again illumined my face. And as I began to join in to "Silent Night" my soul, once again warmed, heard the precious voice of my Savior, "a wick can always be re-lit."

Merry Christmas. Remember this season His Love and His Grace.

The North Wind.

I'm feeling that North Wind start to tug again. I'm feeling at times a gentle nudge and at other times a strong pull to be on the move again. Will this gypsy blood of mine ever settle down?

I am content. Truly. For the first time I have really learned and been given the grace to live out that secret to being content. Is it 100% of the time? No. But 89.2%? Yes.

Even with this contentment with what I have and where I am at I find still that I am unsettled with who I am and what I am accomplishing. There has got to be more that He has called me to do than to "get by" when it comes to work.

I am odd. I recognize this fact. But I think it is partly that oddity that I have cause to wonder what specific tasks He has formed me to be able to accomplish.

Time is flying by. I have been given this season where I am relatively free of obligation. Nothing is really tying me down to any specific place or position. I want to make the most of this time. I want to be productive.

My desire is to be used by Him, for His glory. What am I doing now that could be classified as such?

I cry out, "here am I! Send me!" but I do not know where to go.

What has been going on since November 28??

Something is happening. Something is changing. I feel like I unknowingly stepped through or across or around something and now I am in a world that I don't understand. Playing a game of which the rules are new and foreign to me.

I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks I have found myself uttering, "what in the world?"

Oh dear... this will be either really good or not so much.

One thing led to another...

Normally a title like that would be followed by an admittance of a mistake on my part. Not this time.

Tonight one thing led to another and in the end I was blessed by a wonderful time with my dad. I was reading back through some of my old blogs while he was working on his computer across the room from me. Occasionally I would chuckle at something and he would look up questioningly. I started to read them aloud and an hour passed of being able to share my depths that come through in my writings with my dad who is sometimes unable to process them.

What a blessing. What a treasure. Thank you, Father. You have given me a good example of who You are as Father with the father I have here. I am blessed.

According to Google...

So I've done this before a few years ago and it randomly came back to mind... and I was bored so, eh? Why not?

After typing "Stephanie needs" into Google search, these are the results:

- Stephanie needs some help! Look at those pants!
- Stephanie needs behavior modification.
- Stephanie needs a date for Valentine's Day.
- Stephanie needs you bad.
- Stephanie needs to get the women together in an alliance. (Ha!)
- Stephanie needs a new story line.
- Stephanie needs a sound proofed home to protect her.
- Stephanie needs a strong, manly shoulder to lean on (preferably an alpha one).
- Stephanie needs a family who can help her strive to participate in structured recreational and social activities.
- Stephanie needs to be less annoying and should not try to make story lines for herself be trying to steal Lauren's new guy. (Sorry Lauren, whoever you are.)

Ok, there were more but at the moment what Stephanie really needs is to be doing something productive.

More Quotes.

And while I have my notebook in front of me (Lindsey, you're influential) I thought I might as well jot down a few others that I have.

One night at my house...
Dad: (singing the wrong words, off key, to a song... loudly and with gusto.)
Me: Dad, how do you expect me to ever be able to bring someone home?
Dad: Exactly. Method, my dear. Method.

And an afternoon with Emily...

"Holding hands is me putting out." - Emily M.

"We locked fingers - does that make a baby?" - Emily

"I don't linger unless they've paid for a good dinner." - Ok, that one was me

"If everyone had a glass of wine before church the Spirit would have mroe room to move." - me again

"Church is not a sitcom. Everything is not supposed to be resolved in half an hour." - Emily (brilliant!)

Our afternoons are productive! I miss you.