Monday, March 2, 2009

The Question Is...

After an evening of wonderful conversation and stirring musical performance I found myself facing a thrilling drive home through inches of slush and driving snow. (Not to mention insane North Carolina drivers.)

To pass the time I continued the conversation in the car. God and I have great times talking when I'm driving by myself. Although I'm sure it is quite humorous to be a driver in another car looking in at me having a wonderful discussion...by myself. Sigh. Ah well.
The dialogue on the drive home consisted mainly of questions... and not always with answers to follow up.

Who...? What...? Where...? Why...? When...? How...? (I always felt a little sorry for "how," what with all the other words starting with "w." I always thought I should invent a synonym to "how" that started with "w" but, alas, this is another of my grand ideas that has yet to see fruition. One day...)

You'd be surprised how deep simple questions starting with simple words can get.

Who am I?
What is my passions/goals/desires/path/call?
Where am I headed?
Why am I so blessed?
When will I know ______? (Filled in with a myriad of words.)
How will I know ______? (Filled in with the same words as above.)

The conversation was laughably punctuated with occasional fish tailing shrieks, accurate commentary on the driving skills of others and the sporadic "Oh Lord...!"

I don't think we realize how "reactionary" our thinking and speaking can become in living our day-to-day lives. It doesn't cause a probing of the depths of mind, soul, spirit to respond to most of what we come across in everyday life. We don't stop, pause, think. Oh and I miss it. I enjoy the opportunity to intelligently discuss, dialogue, debate and disagree. Good conversation causes a stirring of stagnant waters in our minds. It forces us to recognize things in ourselves that are more easily passed over in day-to-day reactionary speech.

And what I recognized on that long trek back to the warmth of home and the safety (and lolling, sleepy seduction) of all that is familiar is that I have more questions than answers...and questions I don't even know to ask yet.

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