.Misconceptions.

Too often I think people confuse two very different things... and to their detriment. There is a substantial difference between being friendly and flirting. Those who misconstrue or play ignorant to the difference set themselves up to either opening themselves up to something they don't want or closing themselves off to something that is good. (For the sake of this blog, and to avoid too many rabbit trails, I will restrict my remarks to the latter.)

The basic definitions of the words themselves provide a framework for the difference.

Friend
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem 2: one that is not hostile 3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)4: a favored companion

Flirt

1: to move erratically [note this does not say "erotically"] 2 a: to behave amorously without serious intent b: to show superficial or casual interest or liking ; also : experiment 3: to come close to reaching or experiencing something —used with with

Unfortunately for many, particularly in Christian circles, they have confused the terms. Not intentionally, I understand, but the result is still sadly the same.

In order to "flee" from behaving amorously without serious intent many become hostile.

Yes, I said hostile. And just so we're all on the same page, let me include the definition for hostile.

Hostile
1 a: of or relating to an enemy b: marked by malevolence hostile act> c: openly opposed or resisting d (1): not hospitable (2): having an intimidating, antagonistic, or offensive nature

The problem with adding definitions is that I feel the need to continue adding definitions for words that are used in the definitions. Such as hospitable, intimidating, and so on.

My point is, although I don't take offense, I do grieve somewhat when attempts at friendliness are construed as flirting.

**Author's Note: I am not denying that I, at times, act in a flirtatious manner. I do. I'm simply saying that it is not the same as being friendly. Believe me, when I'm flirting, I (and witnesses) know.**

Those who are afraid of appearing flirtatious often have the sad result of appearing unfriendly... even hostile. Why do we, particularly females in Christian circles, constrict, restrict and every other kind of "strict" ourselves into keeping quiet, pulled back, guarded, cold?

For heaven's sake, shake off the stupor, ignorance and woeful ignorance that rules too many of us. Fight it.

Life is meant to be lived. Smile. Breathe. Interact. Relate. Reach out. Give.

"Practice hospitality." Romans 12:13

Ok... one last definition.

Hospitable
1 a: given to generous and cordial reception of guests b: promising or suggesting generous and cordial welcome c: offering a pleasant or sustaining environment


And those are some of my thoughts on the matter.